Full Transcript
Christy:
In that moment, my book was born. It’s called I Have to Pay for This. It’s a book about conflicting emotions that we as parents have as our kids start transitioning outside of our home to college or wherever that may be.
Jeff:
Please welcome speaker, consultant, author Christy Pruitt-Haynes.
Christy:
What made it a little bit easier is I’d seen how my mom and my grandfather were able to still live full and complete lives. There’re just some things they have to do a little differently.
Jeff:
Helping organizations excel with diverse talent.
Christy:
I had an opportunity to show people that in spite of my vision, I am still able to do a lot of the things I want to do.
Jeff:
Such a great voice for marginalized communities, and as in this case, such a great voice for the visually impaired.
Christy:
I needed to find ways to have the type of career, to have the type of job that I really wanted. And in doing that, I realized I could help others do the same thing.
Jeff:
Now, please welcome Christy-Pruitt-Haynes. Hope you enjoy.
Christy:
Ihavetopayforthis.com. It’s available for pre-order now, and it comes out August 2nd.
Jeff:
Welcome to Blind Abilities, I’m Jeff Thompson. Today in the studio, I’m really excited because we have a speaker, a consultant, and an author all rolled up into one: Christy Pruitt-Haynes. Christy, welcome to Blind Abilities.
Christy:
Thank you, Jeff. I’m so happy to be here.
Jeff:
I was excited to see your book being dropped because I’m an empty nester. Just started two months ago.
Christy:
You understand then exactly where I am headed and then who this book is for. It’s an interesting point to be at in life, where you’re both excited and worried all at the same time.
Jeff:
Oh yeah. There’s so many mixed feelings. I mean, right now my house seems so much larger to me. So let’s dig in, tell us a little bit about your book.
Christy:
Absolutely. So my daughter is going to be heading to college in August and I’m thrilled. I’m happy for her. She got into her top choice school. She worked really hard for that. So I have all of those emotions that most parents have, but they seem to be conflicting in a lot of ways. Again, I’m very proud. I’m very happy, but I am also scared and terrified and worried. And then at some point, as I was going through all of those conflicting emotions, it occurred to me not only is my baby leaving, but I’m gonna have to write this really big check for her to go, a bigger check than I think I’ve written for anything else. So in that moment, my book was born. It’s called I Have to Pay for This, and it’s a book about all of the conflicting emotions that we as parents have as our kids start transitioning outside of our home to college or wherever that may be, and the reality that in spite of all of those feelings that we have, and in spite of how much we’re gonna miss them, we actually have to pay someone to take them and to continue that education process. So it causes a lot of conflict and angst, and this book is a way to sort of both laugh and cry through all of those moments.
Jeff:
And this is so timely, fall semester starting up, students going off to school, students going off to the workplace, leaving home, and a lot of our listeners are transition age students, so even they would enjoy this book. I bet there’s something for everyone.
Christy:
Absolutely, it is. It really resonates with so many different people. I remember, when I was leaving for college and, you know, my parents had the added fear of my visual disability and that just made everything they were already feeling a little more complicated, on top of the worries that most parents had. They also had to think, you know, will I be able to safely navigate spaces? Can I get from my dorm to the student center if it’s dark, and things like that. So regardless of what your child is transitioning to, I think you’ll be able to really relate to the feelings and the sentiment in this book.
Jeff:
Why don’t you tell us about your visual disability?
Christy:
I have retinitis pigmentosa and then it’s complicated by cystoid macular edema. So I was diagnosed with that when I was 17 and you know, I had a feeling or always knew it was a possibility. My mom has it, my grandfather, several of his siblings, so it very much runs in our family. So I think I was acutely aware and probably looking for the signs of it much earlier than most people. So at 17 I found out officially and you know, that first moment is a combination of both shock and sadness and so many things. What made it a little bit easier is I’d seen how my mom and my grandfather were able to still live full and complete lives. There’re just some things they have to do a little differently. So over the last 30 years, my vision has continued to progressively get worse and I’ve lost the majority of my vision now. I’ve still been able to find ways to do the things I want to do to have a really rich life and do so in a way that works for me. You know, I’m not gonna say it’s easy. This is not something that I embraced joyfully, I honestly tried to hide it for many years from people and it got to the point that I couldn’t do that any longer. And then I realized I didn’t really want to. I had an opportunity to show people that in spite of my vision, I am still able to do a lot of the things I want to do. So I think, you know, short of driving, I’m still out there in the world and doing everything I used to do. Sometimes it takes me a little longer. Sometimes I do it in a different way, but I figure it out and I make it work.
Jeff:
And you’ve taken that into your career, ‘cause 20 years working with corporations and entrepreneurship, you actually now do consulting and you help corporations become aware of the diversity and how to use people- not use people, but how to encourage people to step forward and bring awareness to not only their disabilities, but their abilities.
Christy:
Absolutely. You know, when so many people think of diversity, they immediately think of race and gender, and those are obviously huge components of diversity, but physical and mental abilities are another component that people don’t always think of. And unfortunately, individuals with disabilities experience unemployment at a much higher rate than the rest of society, and often that’s because organizations just don’t understand how to make accommodations or how to integrate them into the day-to-day professional lives. And what’s interesting is a lot of companies assume they’re going to have to go above and beyond and spend a lot of money or significantly change jobs in order for someone who has a disability to be able to do it, but the reality is we have developed our own tips and tricks and we bring those to the workforce with us. People with disabilities are extremely resourceful and oftentimes have found ways to handle whatever components of their job there may be where we don’t often require the level of accommodation that a lot of companies assume we would, and that resourcefulness, the way we just figure things out and can adapt so quickly, those skills translate over into every area of our professional lives, so we bring that innovation, we bring that creativity with us, so it really becomes a benefit to any organization we work with.
Jeff:
Diversity can be an asset to that company.
Christy:
Absolutely, in every sense.
Jeff:
With your book coming out, is this a whole new adventure for you writing this book?
Christy:
It is. This is a departure from what I typically do and talk about, so it’s exciting, it’s a little scary, but you know, one thing that I realized and I think losing my vision helped me to realize this, being transparent and being open and honest about what I’m experiencing and how I feel is one of the best ways to get through difficult situations. So this book is my way of being really transparent about how I feel as a parent, knowing that, you know, the person I brought into this world and have literally sort of held every day for the last 18 years is now going to be leaving the nest, and I won’t be there in the same way. So writing this was a bit therapeutic for me, but it also, you know, I think in any difficult situation, when you can find a bit of humor in it, it makes it a little easier. So I wanted this book to also be very funny and help us to remember that even in the middle of all of these emotions, even in the middle of all of this money we’re having to spend, there’s still humor and there’s still a lighthearted sense to all of it.
Jeff:
You know, going back to what you said about your parents and you going off to school and them being concerned about your visual impairment, what advice would you give to someone today who is transitioning from high school to college with a visual impairment?
Christy:
First and foremost, be honest about it. Let people know, let your roommates know, let your professors know, make sure you reach out to resources on your campus. It’s amazing how helpful people can be when they know that you may need some assistance. With that, you do have to be prepared. Sometimes people aren’t gonna be helpful in the right way, so being as direct with the level of assistance you need and things you don’t need help with. So I think creating that sort of group that can really look out for you, let you know about what’s going on and help you navigate any situation can be very, very helpful. So the first thing I would say is really be open and honest to the extent that you’re comfortable. The next thing is don’t be afraid to interact with other people. Don’t be afraid to try things. I think sometimes people with disabilities and particularly those of us with visual disabilities can sometimes hang back. We don’t want to put ourselves out there. We don’t want to be the center of attention for any reason. But what I’ve learned is everybody has something that they’re battling, everybody has something that makes life a little harder for them, some people are just better at covering it up. So don’t be afraid to try new things, talk to new people, do whatever that may be that you’ve really been dreaming about just because of your disability. Again, you may have to find a different way to do it, but once you do, you’re gonna get so much enjoyment from it.
Jeff:
That’s great advice. Coming out of college and going into your profession, people have choices to make, and you made a choice to go to bat for women in the workplace, for people with diversity. What brought you to that point?
Christy:
It was a few things. So first I have to partially credit my parents. My mom was a special education teacher for many years before she retired, and my father worked for vocational rehabilitation, so we were very much a family who was in this space in some way for my entire life. I think the other thing that really brought me to it is just selfishly my own desire to do the same things everyone else was doing, so I needed to find ways to have the type of career, to have the type of job that I really wanted. And in doing that, I realized I could help others do the same thing. So there are so many people who don’t have the voice, they don’t have the ability to move into some of the spaces that they want to be a part of, and any small thing I could do to help open those doors I really wanted to, because I wanted everyone to have as full and as rich of a life as possible.
Jeff:
Oh, wow. That’s well put. As I’m listening to you, I’m thinking where has this voice been? You’ve been out there, entrepreneuring and working with other companies and doing TED Talks. You’ve been on the board of selecting speakers for TEDx Nashville.
Christy:
Yes.
Jeff:
You’re out there.
Christy:
I am. I am. I’m out there and I’m out there very deliberately, because again, I want people to see what’s possible. And that goes for both women, that’s people of color, that’s people with disabilities. You know, if you look at statistics, statistically, there’s no reason I should have done some of the things that I’ve done. You think about all of the different marginalized groups that I belong to, it would’ve been very easy for me to sit back and watch others fully experience life, but I didn’t want to do that. And there’s a part of me that truly believes me going out and interacting and being successful is a testament to what’s possible for everyone. So my hope is that as I live and create the life that I really want, it also shows other people what’s possible and helps them to do the same.
Jeff:
I listened to your TEDx Talk, and I was wondering what I would get out of it. I think no matter what you’re gonna be speaking about, I think someone can get something out of it. It is really nice listening to you talk, and right now I’m just listening and saying, this is such a fresh voice for today for people to hear, especially in this area of disabilities.
Christy:
Thank you so much. And that’s my goal. I never want any of the content, whether it’s a TED Talk, my book, I never wanted to only help one group because I think, you know, ultimately, as I said, we all have different issues that we’re dealing with, and the more that each of us can understand what everyone else is facing, the more empathy we can have and the more we can help create a positive environment for those around us. So, you know, part of my goal is to not only educate and inspire those who are a part of marginalized communities, but to let everyone else know what it is they can do to further these same causes and to really create a world where we can all engage and we can all be prosperous and successful.
Jeff:
Wow. I’m gonna try and get all that onto a t-shirt someday.
Christy:
That’s gonna be a really big t-shirt, you know, you may need a few shirts, or like a body suit maybe.
Jeff:
There you go. And your website is the name of your new book, ihavetopayforthis.com
Christy:
Correct, yes, ihavetopayforthis.com. It’s available for pre-order now, and officially comes out August 2nd.
Jeff:
Good stuff. Get your pre-orders in. Where else can people find out more about the speaker, the consultant, the author, Christy Pruitt-Haynes?
Christy:
You can go to my personal website, Christy, c-h-r-i-s-t-y, Pruitt, p-r-u-i-t-t hyphen Haynes, h-a-y-n-e-s.com. That’s a lot about me professionally, and then I’m across all social media platforms at Christy Pruitt-Haynes.
Jeff:
Well, that’s great. Be sure to check it out. Be sure to check out the book because I think it fits anybody’s age group, whether you’re in college, going to college, have kids going to college or just an empty nester, on what it’s like. Christy, thank you so much for coming onto Blind Abilities.
Christy:
Wonderful, Jeff. Thanks so much for having me, I really appreciate it. And for more podcasts with a blindness perspective, check us out on the web at www.blindabilities.com, on Twitter @BlindAbilities, and download the free Blind Abilities app from the app store and Google Play store. That’s two words, Blind Abilities. And if you want to leave some feedback, give us some suggestions, give us a call at 612-367-6093. We’d love to hear from you. A big shout-out to Chee Chau for his beautiful music, you can follow Chee Chau on Twitter @lcheechau. And from all of us here at Blind Abilities, through these challenging times, stay well, stay informed, and stay strong. I want to thank you for listening, and until next time, bye-bye.
[Music] [Transition noise] –
When we share
-What we see
-Through each other’s eyes…
[Multiple voices overlapping, in unison, to form a single sentence]
…We can then begin to bridge the gap between the limited expectations, and the realities of Blind Abilities.
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