Full Transcript
Jeff:
From the Blind Abilities studios, it’s Wellness Wednesday, with your hosts Beth Gustin and Robin Ennis.
Robin:
Welcome to Wellness Wednesday. My name is Robin Ennis, I am a licensed clinical social worker in the state of Colorado. I have been practicing social work for the past, let’s see, 15 years? Time definitely goes by fast, so quite a while I’ve been practicing social work and I entered into private practice therapy in 2021. My partner on this podcast, Beth Gustin, do you wanna introduce yourself?
Beth:
Yep. My name is Beth Gustin, I’m also in Colorado. I’m a licensed professional counselor and I have been practicing for about 16 years and I’ve had a private practice for about eight years, but I really began private practice three years ago. Time flies.
Robin:
It really does, and when I heard myself talking about how long I’ve been in social work, I kept going back in my head, really? Has it been that long? So for our podcast each month, we’re gonna talk about a different mental health diagnosis that is prevalent within society, that everybody’s facing, just to get a little bit more awareness about it and knowledge surrounding it and how it can show up in your own life. And so this month, we’re going to tackle anxiety. Particularly today, we’re gonna talk about social anxiety, and in a couple of weeks we’ll talk about generalized anxiety.
Beth:
And the irony is not lost on me that social anxiety has to do with being afraid of being in crowds or large groups or social interactions, and here we are in a podcast over Zoom where we’re not engaging in person.
Robin:
It’s pretty funny that you mentioned that, Beth, because I am also a self-advocate mentor and I was speaking in a class about how words matter, and so one particular person that I had interacted with last year, in a different fellowship class, they came up to me and they said, hey, it’s good to see you in person. And I was like, that’s right, you know, I haven’t seen you in person before. So it was an interesting dichotomy being able to actually physically be present with somebody.
Beth:
It’s interesting. I’m thinking back, given the pandemic and how COVID has changed all of our lives, and how many people are just now over the past, I don’t know, six, seven, eight months trying to get back into the community and being in social situations. And my first place out really after the pandemic was Voodoo Donuts. And if you don’t know Voodoo Donuts here in Denver, you really should go. But I went there and I don’t get anxious about a lot of things, and I had a panic attack. And I share that because I think it’s important that we, as hosts of this podcast, be vulnerable, and we’re human too, and we experience a lot of these same things we’re gonna talk about. But I was really caught off guard by the fact I had a legit panic attack in the middle of Voodoo Donuts and I’m laughing about it now, but I was like, I had to get out. I couldn’t handle it. And the music is loud there and it was super crowded. It’s always crowded, because it’s good donuts, but it just really took me by surprise that, okay. Wow. This is a thing. It’s really hard to go from being in lockdown or working from home or just in our homes a lot then suddenly being expected to live as if yeah, we never have been stuck in our homes.
Robin:
We found ourselves in a new normal, and being thrown back into the way things were pre-pandemic, it is hard to adjust back and trying to figure out how to keep moving forward and create our new way of living. One thing after we talk more about exactly what is anxiety, and then dive into social anxiety, I thought, Beth, listening to you talk about your panic attack, that we could talk about panic attacks and anxiety attacks. I’ve had some clients, and I myself have wondered, is there a difference between an anxiety attack and a panic attack, or is it one in the same?
Beth:
And I think that depends on who you ask.
Robin:
Mm-hmm, that’s true. Yeah. Yeah. That’s true.
Beth:
So when I think about anxiety, I think about the limbic system of our brain or the emotional part of our brain, the mammal part of our brain, you know, call it what you want, that’s also kind of our alarm system. And when we’re anxious, that alarm system, whether it’s warranted or not, is gonna ring like crazy and alert us to danger, and depending on our life experiences and where our anxiety comes from, that may be very warranted and necessary and keeping us safe, but it also can be over-reactive, which is what happens in anxiety. And that alarm system in our brain goes off and we either shut down and kind of freeze, or we might decide we wanna run and flight, or we might wanna stay in fight, depending on what that perceived threat is that our brain thinks is a danger to us, causing the anxiety.
Robin:
Right. That’s a really good definition. I couldn’t have said it even more perfectly. And one way that I also describe it to my clients is that it’s malproductive in some way, like anxiety, it’s purpose is to try and protect us as what it thinks that it’s trying to protect us, but over time it can do more harm, like for instance, if an alarm is arising saying, I can’t go to large groups because something bad is gonna happen, then more than likely you’re gonna start staying at home and not venturing out. And so that’s how anxiety can impact your life in an adverse aspect.
Beth:
Or it can be, I can’t talk to someone in a social situation because I don’t know how to communicate effectively. I feel like I don’t have good social skills and that makes me anxious, or I feel like I don’t have anything to talk about, I’m a boring person, no one’s gonna listen to what I have to say, I’ve got nothing to share. And that can keep us out of social situations as well. I also think it’s important, and I don’t wanna get too far ahead of us, but to talk about how anxiety manifests itself or shows up in our bodies.
Robin:
Yep. No, that’s really good, and we can lead into that absolutely next ‘cause that kind of goes about the symptoms and how to know when you’re feeling anxious. One thing that I wanna add though, is that, well, I guess this kind of goes along with leading into the symptoms pieces, that constant worrying, the intrusive thoughts, like the what ifs or you shouldn’t have done this, or any thoughts that keep you from being present in the moment can be a warning sign of anxiety.
Beth:
Yeah, absolutely. And so can things like sweaty hands, apprehensive feeling in your stomach like butterflies, you might get like a pounding in your head. You can feel the blood kind of rushing in your ears, your chest might get tight, your breathing might speed up. You might find yourself stuttering, or it’s hard to get the words out. Your body might be really rigid, so it can look a lot of different ways. You can feel like you’re having a heart attack, even if it isn’t a heart attack.
Robin:
Right. For me, when I get anxious, my hands start to shake. So that’s how I know that my anxiety is high and that I need to step back and ground myself, and bring myself back to the present. Yeah. It can show up and manifest itself in different ways. It’s really important to pay attention to how it shows up in you, so then you know hey, what’s going on for me right now in this moment? What do I need to do to be able to support myself and to take care of myself?
Beth:
Which leads into coping skills very nicely, and I think there’s a ton of coping skills. It’s as imaginative as you are and finding what is going to work for you is key. Robin mentioned grounding, and you can literally ground yourself. So depending on where you are, right, if you’re home and you can go outside and ground and stick your bare feet in the ground, like on the grass, that can be grounding, literally. If you can’t do that, there’s a lot of, like, you could maybe carry something with you, like a worry stone or a small object of some kind that has some weight to it. That can actually pull you more towards the ground. Don’t have your pants fall off, of course. Something that kind of weights you down a little bit, so you’re grounded. Also, you can use that same object as a fidget, and you can do a lot of mindfulness exercises around that object to keep you in the present, so what’s it look like? What’s it feel like, you know, what’s the color pattern, what’s the shape of it? Is there a smell to it? What’s the texture? But those types of questions are gonna bring your brain back to the present moment so that you can stay focused and grounded.
Robin:
I’ve had a lot of clients who really like the latter one that you just said, and that’s one of my go-tos, I’ve had a lot of positive reviews, again, it brings them back to the present and it really keeps them focused on different things in their environment. So, yeah, I think that’s a really good one. One thing too, that I’ve recommended to some clients is you mentioned an object. I also too, have people think of safe places. So where’s a place where you feel calm and relaxed, and so thinking of that place, and if you have something as a physical reminder, great. If not, then try and visualize what that place looks like. Or if you can’t visualize it, then what are the sounds? What are the tastes, smells, anything to try and transform you back to that place so that you can have a sense of relaxation. And the first time I had actually heard of that idea was from a counselor years ago when I was talking about my fear of hospital, because I have a chronic illness. And so with my own circumstances is that my medical condition requires ongoing surgical treatment, and so that can be anxiety-provoking. So that particular counselor suggested that I take a small object with me in the hospital to remind me of a safe place, and so I think that’s a really good technique too.
Beth:
I like that one. I use it a lot with my EMDR clients. There’s two more I wanna highlight. And one is Ally, which is often an EMDR resourcing technique, but you don’t need to use it with EMDR, but it’s visualizing someone in your head or hearing their voice, of someone who you think, and it can be fictional or non-fictional or a person that you know or not, but someone that really embodies calm and soothing and peacefulness and groundedness. And if you can visualize that person standing behind you or next to you, or something like that, and draw from them. Draw that calmness from them. That can help us stay calm as well, and stay grounded.
Robin:
I like that. That’s a good one. When I was hearing you talk, one person that comes to mind for me that exemplifies calmness, and he’s deceased now, is Christopher Reeves. He embodied calmness to me and he embodied strength and, and care, so whenever I think about him, I just think of greatness, and so he comes to me, although I didn’t know him personally, but he just tends to make me feel calm. Is there anybody that would make you feel calm, Beth?
Beth:
You know, I’m laughing ‘cause I’m going to suggest something out of the ordinary. And I was thinking actually about Dumbledore and Harry Potter, because to me it seems like no matter what is thrown at him, he’s just calm and going about his business.
Robin:
That’s a good one.
Beth:
Just very, yeah. So…
Robin:
I like that.
Beth:
The other technique I wanted to highlight was, and this is kind of what we touched on before, but it’s five, four, three, two, one, and you can actually modify this and do a more elemental version. So like earth fire, water, and air. But basically you involve your five senses, so five things you can see if you have sight, and name them out loud, four things you can touch, actually go touch them. Three things you can hear, and again, name them. Two things you can smell, if you don’t have allergies and you actually can smell something. And then one is one thing you can taste. You can do a similar version of this, where water is trying to create saliva in your mouth, air is taking a really deep breath in and exhaling. Fire is fire your brain up, get some thoughts going, think about something, and then earth is grounding. You’re grounding in some way. As you can see the ways to ground and calm yourself are endless, and it just takes you finding what works for you. Is it music? Some people like to wear headphones when they’re out in public, because it helps them actually stay kind of focused, and it sort of is antisocial or anti- it’s not helpful for being social. If you’re wearing headphones, it’s hard to engage with people. But music is a great way to cope and calm ourselves down.
Robin:
Yeah. That’s very true. I have a client who has PTSD and so when he’s on the bus, he puts on his headphones to center him and make him feel more calmer. In situations, going back to what I had mentioned or asked about anxiety and panic attacks is trying to distinguish the difference, and Beth, like you said, I think it does depend on the person. For me, I think that anxiety attacks are precursors to panic attacks, like the shaking of the hands or some type of buildup, and then panic attacks are where you feel like you can’t breathe. Where you feel trapped-
Beth:
Feel immobile, like paralyzed. I wanna go back real quick, I’m sorry, to one more coping technique, because I think it’s a popular one. And that is scent, s-c-e-n-t. A lot of my clients like to carry something with them that has a smell, like a cotton ball with essential oil on it, or wearing a diffuser bracelet and putting essential oils in it or something like that. You know, my grandmother, when she was alive, her purse always smelled like gum. And I forget the brand of the gum, it was like spearmint gum. And so when I smell that smell, it’s very calming for me, ‘cause my grandma was a very calming presence in my life. So smells can be another way to help us ground and stay present. So I didn’t wanna take away from where you were going, ‘cause I agree with you. I think a panic attack is very much that trapped feeling, that immobile, I’m paralyzed. I literally cannot move.
Robin:
Right, right. Yeah. No, thanks for bringing, I didn’t mean to cut you off with the coping strategy. ‘Cause I like the scent one, if you can even spray something on a Kleenex or something, take it with you, so it can be very mobile. And with any coping strategy and technique, you know, again, when you feel like you’re having either an anxiety or a panic attack or, you know, whatever it may be, figuring out before it gets to that point, before you’re fully immersed in that anxiety and panic, to realize what grounding techniques work for you. And it really is trial and error, and so you can take our suggestions and you could even Google, you know, grounding techniques. And there’s a lot that can come up, too.
Beth:
Something else we have not talked about that’s a technique is self-talk. And the power of self-talk and how much our words really do matter, like you talked about earlier. And one of the things that can help us with anxiety is having a lot of self-compassion for ourselves, and also talking to ourselves around I’ve been here before, this feeling will pass, I’m going to be okay, I have control of the situation because I can do this, this and this, you know, I’m just gonna take one breath in, one breath out, and kind of like narrate what you’re doing even, because that keeps your brain engaged, and our thoughts, in my opinion, really do matter. And they make a huge difference in how we can cope with things.
Robin:
Right, especially in social situations, you know, that self-talk is crucial. You know, I know a lot of people who have social anxiety when they’re in groups, either they think that- or crowds that something bad is gonna happen to them, that they’re unsafe, or a lot of the time, more so than not that I’ve had clients say is what if I say the wrong thing? People are gonna think badly of me, I’m not a good conversationalist, something’s wrong with me, when in actuality you’re being your own worst critic. The person you’re conversing with probably enjoys talking with you, and so it’s giving yourself that compassion and grace in those social situations, you know, whether it be a fear of safety or fear of conversing with other people.
Beth:
I agree, absolutely.
Robin:
Well, is there anything else, Beth, that you feel like we need to touch on in terms of social anxiety that we haven’t talked about?
Beth:
Not that I can think of. I mean, our goal of this podcast is to make things very bite-sized and digestible. I know we’ve packed a lot into a short time, and so, you know, we’d definitely like to hear back from all of you as far as, are there any questions you have about your anxiety? We can’t provide therapy, obviously, per se, but are there any questions you’d like to know more about or any experiences you’d like to share with what worked for you as coping skills?
Robin:
Exactly. I wholeheartedly agree with that. We definitely want to hear back from you, make it a dialogue and address the questions you have or what you would like us to talk more about. So-
Beth:
To that end, oops, sorry.
Robin:
I was just gonna- so we’re glad that you tuned into Wellness Wednesday, and we look forward to talking with you about generalized anxiety in a couple of weeks.
Beth:
On that note, take good care of yourselves, do something nice for yourselves, it’s good self-care, and we’ll be back in two weeks!
Robin:
Bye.
Jeff:
You can send Beth and Robin a message at 612-367-6093, or by email at info@blindabilities.com. They’d love to hear from you.
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